Death or serious injury may occur if this blog is eaten uncooked.  Read only whilst driving at less than 160km/h.  Do not iron flat, even on the most humid of days.  Do not inhale, ever, particularly if running a fever.

The back seat is the safest place for children of idiots, regardless of whether the handbrake is on or off.  Do not place near eyes, sinuses, or internal organs on Wednesdays.  Use at your own risk, but don’t get caught by your mother in-law.  Be sure to wear protective clothing whilst reading.

All names used within this blog have been changed, in order to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

All names, except those of my wife and family.

This is because  I only have one of them, and they already know who they are.

They, of course, remain neither innocent, nor guilty.

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