Sunday 16th May 2010

Gestation: 33 weeks, 2 days

One year ago.

I walk out the front door, heading towards the gate.  Sticking out of the bottom hatch is a folded envelope, a gaggle of envelopes within.  Each with a yellow sticker on it;  symptomatic of an intrinsic of a hatred for changing old mailing addresses.

I walk back towards the house, flicking as I go.  Bill, flick, bill, flick, bill flick, bill.  Another bill. Advertising, flick, bill, flick, advertising.  Flick.  Something interesting.

I flip something interesting, ripping at the fold.  The top corner has a logo from an old medical practice, more evidence that there is a paper trail of mail chasing me around the country, via old address.

I pull from it the single sheet;  a pathology result.

Suse’s blood test results.

And it says:

‘Anti-Mulleri – 8.2’

I scroll down to the comment below.

And it says:

‘Levels <10pmol/L.  Suggestive of failing ovulatory reserve.’

For fuck’s sake.  For fuck’s sake.

For fuck’s sake.

It’s a Sunday.  Bloody Sunday.  I don’t know how to interpret this result on a Sunday.

I am so done with the bad news.

 

* * * * *

I do a Google search for Anti-Mullerian Hormone, remembering something back in Med School about it being the hormone that stops men from growing a uterus.  Awesome.  Fuck knows what its role is in ovulation.  I could search until I’m blue in the face, but I’m no Reproductive Specialist.  I just don’t know the significance of this God-damned result.

Except, of course, that it is not normal.  Even better than that, it is suggestive of ‘Failing Ovarian Reserve’.

And I thought that was the name of the park at the end of the street.

 

* * * * *

A few weeks back, when we first saw Dr. Fleischer, she performed an ultrasound, which showed a number of ripening follicles, indicating that Suse was still hatching.

This test result may not be significant.

But it may be.

And just I’m so sick of significant.

Seriously now.  Just for one minute.  Will someone please just cut my wife a fucking break?

 

* * * * *